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Joke of the Day

"I take off my blindfold. Before me is a gory tableau of death and destruction, bodies strewn across the landscape. The pinata is unscathed."

Next Joke
 
"How do find the blind man at the nudist colony? It's not hard."
"Girl asked me to netflix and chill, but I download all my movies illegally.... So I was like na, more like pirate and booty."
"Guys. GUYS! Every issue of National Geographic is now on DVD-ROM. FINALLY! God I've missed masturbating to sweet aborigine pancake titties!"
"Susan froze to death. She was cremated It's what she would have wanted."
"Hey, bus driver... Would you stop and let me and my friend, Jack off?"
"How many hobos does it take to screw in a light bulb? They don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in dumpsters"
"BoyFriend: Why didn't you give me anything for my birthday? GirlFriend: You told me to surprise you."
"When you date someone you either end up breaking up with them or marrying them... ...And either way you end up unhappy."
"You're riding a horse, a giraffe is running next to you and a lion is chasing you. What do you do? Get your drunk as off the carousel."