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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference Between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with a boob job. One is a crusty bus station the other is a busty crustacean."

"A man divorced his wife over her love of Adele ""Goodbye. It's you."""

"How come the Government knows when I don't file my taxes, and when I leave the country, and when I take a shit - but still needs a census?"

"How fuckin' good do babies smell!? I wanna jam one up each nostril and rob a bank!"

"I bet kangaroos get tired of holding all of their friend's keys and cell phones while they're at the beach."

"What is the difference between a cheap whore and an expensive whore? One is your mom; the other one gets paid more."

"What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin mobile"

"My boss is marrying a Chinese woman. Is throwing rice at a Chinese wedding considered lucky or a food fight?"

"I'm always extra nice to the guy who used to deliver my mail. I'd hate to get into a fist fight with an ex-professional mail boxer."

"My 11 year old dumped his girlfriend because she was too ""sassy."" So I'm guessing my days are numbered."