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Joke of the Day

"My boss is marrying a Chinese woman. Is throwing rice at a Chinese wedding considered lucky or a food fight?"

"I know I did a good job dressing my 3 year old when my wife doesn't have to tell everyone she sees that I dressed her."

"Why can't ewoks yell in the house? Because they have to use their Endor voices."

"I'll show you where easter eggs come from -- you may be surprised!"

"Have you ever noticed the lack of trigger discipline cops have in movies? It's so realistic."

"What do you call a female roach with a weiner? A transpestite."

"Went to dinner with a recovering alcoholic vegan who just quit smoking. Everything entering or leaving my mouth was offensive #WorstDateEver"

"After my sixth cup of coffee, I feel like Mario after he gets one of those bouncing, flashing stars."

"What is the frat guy's favorite ion? Bromide"

"What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash, the other is delicious."