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Joke of the Day

"""So what kind of work do you do?"" ""I move cows"" ""Oh , so you're a rancher?"" ""Not really , I'm a zumba instructor"""

"All work and no play makes Jack an unsuccessful stage performer."

"A priest, a paedophile and a rapist walk into a bar... He orders a drink"

"Why did the cheese maker not enjoy the movie? <in a Dutch accent> Not much Gouda"

"[First Date] Me: *licks corner of napkin* Me: *dabs at his cheek* Him: ............... Me: Sorry. Force of habit."

"How did SkyMall go bankrupt? I bought all my wife's birthday presents there before she left me."

"Wore an orange suit for the first time today... I stand by my convictions."

"My wife's boss's name is Adolfo! I wonder if his family have always been against dolls?"

"What do all murderer's have in common? they all have killer personalities"

"My girlfriend was going to take my last name when we get married... but now we're changing it to Clinton so we can get away with anything we want"