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Joke of the Day

"Prof asked if anyone liked comic books. I raised my hand. She didnt add anything or say why it mattered. Just wanted to isolate me socially."

"I went for a long walk yesterday and my pants are still tight today. This is not how exercise is supposed to work."

"Whats the smartest thing to come out of a womans mouth? Albert Einsteins cock"

"you can't watch porn on the new iphone they took the jack off"

"Why did the mexicans fight so hard for the alamo? They wanted 4 clean walls to spray paint."

"Aching Joints by Arthur Itis"

"Q. Where do tired linedancers go for Breakfast? A. Ihop"

"[interrupts gf talking about her dream wedding] lol a horse drawn carriage? ""what's funny about that?"" a horse can't hold a pencil karen"

"So, Noah found two polar bears in the Mideast? And after the flood, he took them back to Canada? That sounds plausible. #GodScience"

"Cops don't like it when you ask them ""Need some help?"" especially when you're wearing a Batman costume."