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Joke of the Day

"Standing in the park, I was wondering why a Frisbee gets larger the closer it gets. And then it hit me."

"Any size pizza is a personal pizza... if you eat it all by yourself"

"It's not that I don't care about the environment, it's just your fabric grocery bag doesn't match my outfit."

"My parents are pretty middle aged. ""So? That's pretty norm-"" *two knights bust in* ""CHILD, DOST THOU REQUEST REFRESHMENTS FROM THE TAVERN?"""

"I woke up this morning wearing a red fuzzy wig, giant oversized shoes and a red nose. I think I must have slept funny."

"Women always had all the power over me on first dates, especially when they had googly eyes on their chest."

"If a bunch of white people running down a hill is an avalanche, what is a bunch of black people running down a hill? A prison break."

"So what's Robin Hood up to these days? He changed his name to 'Bernie Sanders' and is now running for president."

"What sound does a subatomic Cow make? Muuuuuuon"

"What's the difference between a garbanzo pea and a chick pea? I've never had a garbanzo pea on my face."