28478

Joke of the Day

"I make the Transformers sound when I change into sweatpants."

"What do toads drink ? Croaka-cola !"

"Cam Newton has been fitted with a GoPro strapped to his leg for the Super Bowl, sponsored by a canned meat company. It's called the Spam Cam Newton Gam Cam"

"If you can't celebrate Valentine's Day with someone you love, celebrate it with alcohol and pizza."

"Is the reason why all of the Pokemon professors are named after trees because They embark you on your journey?"

"[Drives date home] ME [stops and revs engine sexily] I had a great time tonight DATE: [climbs off my lawnmower] I did not"

"To understand the difference between Italians and Canadians all you need to know is two things. Italian sausage and Canadian bacon..."

"What is the same with you, a pet cat, and a pet dog? All of them are adopted"

"What usually comes after the monster lights the birthday candles? The fire department."

"Fun Fact: You can be charged with home invasion and aggravated assault if you use a box cutter to break down cardboard and a hobo's inside."