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Joke of the Day

"Why are the twin towers and genders so similar? Because there used to be 2 of them, but it's offensive to joke about that now."

"Got the dermatologist recommended detergent and dryer sheets and I'm pretty sure it would've been cheaper to just buy a whole new body."

"My neighbor is Indian and every night when he comes home he punches his wife... 6:30 pm, right on the dot."

"My waterslide technique has been described as 'oafish', 'dangerous' and 'how did you get into the penguin enclosure'."

"A flea jumped over the swinging doors of a saloon drank three whiskeys and jumped out again. He picked himself up from the dirt dusted himself down and said ""OK who moved my dog?"""

"Q: Who is Scooby-Doo's evil twin? A: Scooby-Don't."

"I see your eyes lookin me up and down, baby. Mhmm. Huh? Toilet paper hangin out of my pants? Oh."

"Why does Steven Hawking hate the band Muse? Because he can't stand their song Uprising, it wants him to rise up and take the power back."

"What's better than a gold medal at the Paralympics? Working legs."

"If you're American outside of the bathroom, what are you inside it? European"