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Joke of the Day

"What was the favorite food of the thrifty Italian who loved contractions? A pasta free."

"Last night an Afghan put a jacket on me. He said ""You da bomb!"""

"On earth: A magician puts his hand in his hat. In the rabbit realm: The Hand emerges. It is time. The rabit council must choose another sacrifice."

"Parliament should learn from Twitter, thousands of people shout here doing nothing productive, yet it never gets adjourned."

"I've consumed three coffees plus two energy drinks with black carrot and what I'm trying to say is there won't be commas in my tweets today."

"The economy is so bad... even the rope splicer can't make ends meet."

"Daniel Day-Lewis walks into a bar. Bartender says, ""What'll it be?"" but he already knows because he's also Daniel-Day Lewis."

"I love my life, but it just wants to be friends..."

"Ran into an ex-girlfriend. We talked, exchanged info, and she said her ""insurance would call"" me. Someones still carrying a torch!"

"I'm a Mexican with a black belt Call me Juan Punch"