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Joke of the Day

"What's the only mammal that can breathe under ice? An elephant hiding in your fridge"

"Why dont men like...nsfw Why don't men like... Prison? Butt rape. Aliens? Anal probes. Doctors? Prostate exams. Gays? Well I think you see where I'm going here."

"What does Kansas and jews have in common Dust in the wind"

"ME: [in g-string and hardhat] You sure this is what Boss meant by strip-mining? [A bat swoops down and tucks a crumpled bill into my thong]"

"What's the hardest part about working as a nurse or doctor at a women's hospital? When you ask the patients ""what's the problem?"" They'll say ""nothing"""

"The Duracell Bunny was in deep trouble... He just got charged with battery"

"Dad said I need to be the rock for a friend who is having a tough time. Currently practicing that eyebrow thing & wrestling moves."

"Why did the semen cross the road? Because I wore the wrong socks to work today."

"I'm totally hooked on masturbation! It's a dick thing.."

"Sup girl, I hear u like bad boys *I open the wrong side of juice carton* *evil spirit flies out* Oh, so that's why they say don't do that"