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Joke of the Day

"The Duracell Bunny was in deep trouble... He just got charged with battery"

"What if all countries have ninjas, and we only know about the Asian ones because they suck?"

"What are mixed feelings? Watching your mother-in-law backing up towards the edge of a cliff in your new BMW."

"I like to intentionally barge into guys wearing camo and then look around bewildered like I have no idea what I just ran into."

"I now know I drink too much. I walked out on my deck and swear I heard a mosquito yell out to his all his friends that the bar just opened."

"*falls down* Mom: What was that? Me: My shirt fell Mom: It sounded much heavier than a shirt Me: I was in it"

"Did you hear the new classical piece of music commissioned by the church? It's called ""I slipped and fell in A minor""."

"I'll say ""HELLO PUPPY!"" to your dog, but you'll get the awkward half-smile."

"I met a girl with 12 nipples. Sounds funny, dozen tit"

"What's the hardest part to eat when eating a vegetable? The wheelchair."