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Joke of the Day
"Tits are like Legos I'm always stepping on them."
Next Joke
"Last night I dreamt I laid in bed all day drinking wine, eating chocolate & watching Netflix. Tomorrow I'm making my dreams come true."
"It sucks not being miserable enough to bust out a good tweet."
"*pushes math homework away in 1990* I'll never need this *getting yelled at by subway customer in 2014* I WANT THE BREAD CUT LIKE A RHOMBUS"
"The US won gold in shooting They have good schools for it"
"Why do many people call my penis the 'Big Mac'? Because it doesn't look as good or as big as it did in the adverts. :("
"My Grandfather invented the cold air balloon It never really took off."
"Theres this one word I always stumble on when I try to remember it.... oh yeah, the word is forget."
"What is Will Smith's favorite type of forensic evidence? Fresh prints."
"TRIGGER WARNING National Rifle Association of America"