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Joke of the Day

"What did the little boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves. Just kidding, he hasn't opened them yet."

"How do you make a black nervous? Take him to an auction."

"Did you hear that M. Night Shyamalan is making a new movie about a ninja with a nipple fetish? You'll never see the twist coming"

"A kid with a speech impediment spends his entire childhood in speech therapy. Youthless"

"When I was a kid, I had a lemonade stand. I'd give away the first glass for free and charge $20 for the second. The refill contained the antidote."

"What if condoms had temporary tattoos on the inside like you rolled off the condom and there was a picture of a dinosaur on your dick."

"Your mama is so: need some material.."

"Did you hear about the rivalry between the ice cream shops in Texas and Mexico? It was the Battle of the A'la Mode."

"*takes earrings out* *takes bracelet off* *slips out of shoes* *tears off jeans, shirt, bra* *shaves head* Ok Doc you can weigh me now"

"What's the difference between pea soup and roast beef? Anyone can roast beef..."