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Joke of the Day

"What did the little boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves. Just kidding, he hasn't opened them yet."

"What happens when Captain America drinks water? He becomes hydrated."

"I don't do hard liquor... ...I liquor hard"

"What do you call a dinosaur with good dental hygiene? A flossiraptor"

"Why do rednecks like to do it doggie style? So they both can watch Nascar."

"Here it is, folks: ""Do imaginary octopi have ... (wait for it) (wait for it) PRETENDACLES?"""

"What's the difference between Chuck Schumer and Tom Brady Tom Brady is a Patriot and a winner. (Thank you Dennis Miller)"

"What did the fish say when it swam into the wall? Ah dam!"

"Found out that girls do not like re-gifting. So, I was walking along and this girl gave me a major hard-on. However, when I tried to give it back to her, she just slapped me and ran away screaming."

"You can say many bad things about Hitler... ...but the showers joke was pretty good."