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Joke of the Day

"A city is only really home when you stop being mystified by its public transport system and instead are just constantly angry at it."

"Rumour has it Toy Story 4 is going to focus on Andy's mom's toys Coincidentally, they are also called Woody and Buzz"

"When I was a single man, I had an incredible amount of spare time. Since I started listening to full albums I'm always stuck in my room."

"DOROTHY: What do these shoes do? GLINDA: Send you home D: Lame [tries new pair] And these? G: Wait- D: [clicks heels] [turns into hamburger]"

"Did you hear about the pessimistic man who was missing a chromosome? He was a real downer."

"Why did the computer freeze? It got frostbyte."

"Did anyone see the lunar eclipse tonight? It was right by 'your anus'."

"I think I might have a shower. *checks* Yes, I have a shower."

"I recently started remodeling my house and quickly got in over my head, so I decided to get some professional help. I also hired a contractor to work on my house."

"What does Rob Schneider say when he visits Canada? Yukon do it!"