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Joke of the Day

"[blind date] Her: I'm a Capricorn, which probably tells you way too much about m.. Me: *covers ears with bread rolls*"

"Why can trains go for longer than cars? Because cars get tyred but trains do not, with the exception of Rubber-tyred metro systems."

"What does the Fox say? not the news"

"I put JIF Peanut butter in the mousetraps and although I didn't catch any mice I did manage to snag 3 choosy mothers."

"What do you get when a clown dies in a desert? Dry Humour."

"What happens if you pass gas in church? You have to sit in your own pew."

"A young musician left his priceless Stradivarius violin on a train in Germany. But it was returned... no strings attached. Wait...what ?"

"""Careful, there's poop on the dance floor."" - how ballet was invented."

"Every time I drive past a hitchhiker I feel kinda bad thinking maybe they're just liking my status."

"Q: What illness are you suffering from if you keep seeing cartoon animals who talk? A: Disney spells."