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Joke of the Day

"Apparently, people in Dubai don't like the Flintstones... ...But people in Abu Dhabi DOOOOOOO!"

"Sorry I can't make it to lunch today. I forgot to shorten ""people"" to ppl in a text this morning and now I'm totally behind schedule."

"My girlfriend doesn't like it when I ask her to blow cool air on me She is not a fan."

"If we make guns illegal, then nobody will get shot anymore. That's how we stopped everybody from doing drugs"

"one time I stuck my hand in a jar of jelly beans and when I took it out all the black one stole my rings and watch"

"Baby on board* Oh really? Thanks for letting me know, I was about to ram into your car, but now I won't."

"What do dolphins like to listen to? Podcasts."

"Why can't you insult Jewish people? Because they've already been roasted."

"What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do with most of his time? Stay up all night wondering if there is a Dog."

"How many stoners does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know, I just set the bulb down somewhere, now I can't find it. Where the hell did the bulb go?"