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Joke of the Day

"Baby on board* Oh really? Thanks for letting me know, I was about to ram into your car, but now I won't."

"My wife has two weeks left to live... Then I'm going to stab her."

"An obese man was standing naked in front of his doctor He said ""Doc. I haven't seen my dick in 3 years"". Doctor said ""Then why don't you diet?"" The fat man replied ""What color is it now?"""

"I came all the way from New York.... and boy are my hands tired"

"why can't conservatives work at a checkout counter? Because they don't like change..."

"Everyone knows Superman's father was Jor-El, but no one ever mentions his germophobic uncle, Pur-El."

"A man can survive up to two weeks without water, around forty days without food, and about one hour without touching his junk."

"Why did the ram run off the cliff? ...He didn't see the ewe turn! .>_<."

"What do you tell a jew to shut up? Sssshhhhhh"

"Are these my brains? A three-year-old boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath. 'Mom', he asked, 'Are these my brains?' 'Not yet!' she replied!"