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Joke of the Day

"a duck was about to cross the road when a chicken came running up and said... don't do it man ... you will never here the end of it!"

"Fiance' works at an old folks home and said that they had the heater up to far all day. I guess you can say that she was... Sweating with the Oldies!"

"""Sir, I need to ask you to please stop spanking your monkey. This is a bank."" ""Fine, but I'm never coming here again. Come on, George."""

"My Korean girlfriend once cooked me a pie made from scratch. I was gutted. I loved that dog. Mark Restuccia"

"If you walk in to a room and find a man having a stroke... ...you probably should have knocked."

"Why do hummingbirds hum? They don't know the words."

"How many Norwegians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 7"

"My girlfriend just texted me, 'thespacebuttonisbrokenonmyphonecanyoupleasegivemeanalternative Anybody know what ternative means?"

"What's got four legs, is green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of tree it could kill you? A pool table."

"Beached whale Today I got in trouble at work for throwing water on a lady... I just thought that's what your suppose to do for a beached whale"