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Joke of the Day

"During WW2, oil shortages forced some countries to start using organic fuels. Mussolini made the trains run on thyme."

"Not to brag, but I know exactly what to do in a crisis. I'm really good at panicking. ^^^I ^^^panicked.. ^^^I ^^^meant ^^^to ^^^say ^^^Packing"

"How do u make a Pirate angry? Take the P out of him."

"I got a pay rise in my job. At the end of the day, I went to the pub and bought a drink for everyone there. I like to be generous, even if they did feel a bit weird sharing the same pint."

"My legal team is advising me to get jiggy with it."

"I hate Russian Dolls They're full of themselves."

"The teacher asked Jimmy, ""Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?"" Jimmy replied crying, ""Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that pussy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"""

"Parent Tip: don't tell your child ""I'm waiting, I can wait all day if I have to"" unless you've actually cleared your schedule for the day."

"If Reincarnation ends up being real... Those People who got ""YOLO"" tattoos are going to look... Pretty Silly"

"Daylight savings On Sunday we jumped back an hour, today we jumped back 50 years."