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Joke of the Day

"The teacher asked Jimmy, ""Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?"" Jimmy replied crying, ""Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that pussy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"""

"Someone stole my mood ring. I really don't know how I feel about this."

"This chick last night told me to do her like her ex husband so I drained her bank accounts and banged her sister"

"Why does nobody like Tigger? Because he plays with Pooh."

"I'm not saying my wife is fat... but I struggle to lift her photograph"

"So I guess nobody's into necrophilia humor. Because all the jokes are fucking dead."

"Find a penny, pick it up. All day long you'll wtf, that thing is filthy. Wash your hands immediately."

"Sean Connery is standing at your door, wearing white shorts and a white shirt and holding a racket. What time is it? Tennish."

"Knock Knock Who's there? I eat mop. I'll go ahead and show myself out now"

"I miss the old days. When a duck face meant that you had a stroke."