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Joke of the Day

"Susie 1 - Why did Susie fall off the swing? 2 - Because she had no arms 1 - Knock Knock 2 - Who's there? 1 - Not Susie"

"Filled the tank up with petrol today. Now all the fish are dead."

"High school plays are a lot like airplanes. People only want to hear about them if they crash and burn."

"What did cinderella do when she reached the ball? She choked."

"a drug that makes you reallize that you don't actually like the internet that much and maybe you should go for a walk or call a friend."

"What's the difference between me and a calendar? The calendar has dates *sigh*"

"Q. What is one of the first things that Adam and Eve did after they were kicked out? A. They really raised Cain."

"What do you get when you mix an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic? A person who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog."

"If women can do everything men can... ...howcome they've never successfully oppressed an entire gender?"

"So I neutered my car yesterday ""You, what?"" Neutered my car ""..."" It's another word for fixed ""I wish I never gave you that thesaurus"""