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Joke of the Day

"a drug that makes you reallize that you don't actually like the internet that much and maybe you should go for a walk or call a friend."

"Take something someone says, then perceive it in every terrible way imaginable POOF you're a woman."

"Granny always said, 'If in doubt, check it out.' My addition: 'If the answer gets your goat, punch 'em in the throat.'"

"Guys, I just found a BUNCH of Mohicans!"

"Yes, I do have a stalker. They call me every day, will occasionally buy me underwear, and know more about me than I do. I call her ""Mom."""

"I removed my windshield wipers and now I don't get parking tickets. Suck it."

"Q: How do you stop a Polish army on horseback? A: Turn off the carousel."

"bucket: a dirty limerick A horny young Scout, with a bucket, Caught a goose and proceeded to fuck it Far too roughly (it died), Took it home, had it fried, Cause he thought it'd wasteful to chuck it."

"I was once called a racist for saying black paint. Apparently the correct term is ""Tyrone, please paint the fence."""

"What was the internet speed in Canada in the 1990's? 56eh."