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Joke of the Day

"There's nothing more annoying than someone trying to live by their values"

"Just farted in 3 different languages! Thanks, Rosetta Stone!"

"Did you know that Christmas will fall on star wars day this year!? Guess whos coming to town?"

"If at first you don't succeed... skydiving isn't for you..."

"The other day I started making a belt by joining all my old watches together... ...but then I realised it would be a waist of time."

"My husband doesn't believe me that the Bible instructs him to make the coffee in the morning. It's there, clear as day. Hebrews."

"Nice try, dogs who wear ""Please Don't Pet Me, I'm Working"" vests."

"Australians don't have sex. They mate."

"When you see a girl who was hot in high school, but a decade later she's not https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-RfZDiayDI"

"I'm not saying she's a slut, but if she had as many dicks sticking out of her as she did in her, She'd be a porcupine!"