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Joke of the Day

"Teen: Your brows are on fleek! Me: (confused) Yeah well your FACE is on fleek. Teen: Thanks! Me: God damn it."

"What did the leper say to the prostitute? you can keep the tip"

"A blonde once shot an arrow into the air... but missed!"

"My mom keeps walking in everytime I watch porn. I'm just glad she doesn't know I'm watching it."

"Misty's boss says to her: ""You've been late to work for 5 days straight! You know what this means, don't you?"" ..... ...to which Misty replied ""I SURE do! It means today must be FRIDAY!!!"""

"How did the hipster drown? He went ice skating on a lake before it was cool."

"When anyone says they've embarrassed themselves enough for one day, I smile, nod and think 'that kind of limit sounds nice'"

"HULK doesn't have sex, HULK smashes :b"

"A Polish man and a Palestinian woman married and had a son. What was his name? Yassir Yabetcha"

"Why is the set including the square root of 5 and the square root of 4 similar to the set including anarchism and authoritarianism? They are both unlike radicals."