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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a pub and an elephant fart? One is a bar room, and one is a Barooooooooooooom!"

"When I die, I hope I have enough time to point at a complete stranger and whisper ""You did this."""

"What type of grain uses profanity? Vulgar Wheat"

"Two guys walked in a bar and said.. The Game."

"A man walks into a brothel.. The attendant behind the desk says ""Beat it. We're closed""."

"How can you tell if someone is a marathon runner? Don't worry, they'll let you know."

"Blackhawks What is that player's name on the hawks that starts with Johnny. I think I know. Oduya?"

"My alarm is set to the sound of a heart monitor's flatline so I startle awake every morning and think, ""whew. Close call."""

"You can tell Tim Horton's is a Canadian franchise, because my donut just apologized for making me fat."

"My worst fear is seeing one of my tweets marked as ""exhibit A"""