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Joke of the Day

"Damn boy, are you fresh ground pepper? Coz you're kinda boring and you've been on top of everything."

"*at an AA meeting* ""Hi, I'm Andy and I have a drinking problem. I have 2 hands and only 1 mouth. Lol."" *gets aggressively escorted out*"

"I am bored. Anyone need anything avenged?"

"Grasshopper walks into a bar Bartender goes ""*hey! you.... we have a drink named after you, buddy!*"" Grasshopper excitingly responds ""*no way! You have a drink named Steve?*"""

"Heisenberg got pulled over by the cops for speeding Winding down his window, he was greeted by a shout of ""Do you know how fast you were going?!"" ""Not a clue, but I know *exactly* where I was."""

"Did you hear there was a nuclear explosion in space this morning?! Most people call it the sun. Note: My dad pulled this on me this morning. My friend hit me when I told them."

"What did the fisherman do when he really liked a woman? He invited her over to net fish and krill."

"Did you hear about the magic tractor? It went down a lane and turned into a field..."

"What happened when the monster kissed his one true love? He left lip prints on the mirror!"

"I'm only racist when I'm driving."