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Joke of the Day

"Have you heard the one about the gay termite? He only eats mail boxes. (male boxes). Hmm. Works way better when told out loud."

"If I were Obama, I'd totally lead with ""My fellow Americans, the situation looks popeless."" #SOTU"

"In politics we call it left-wing and right-wing because we are all a part of the same bird. And we are all being told what to do by bird brains."

"TOP REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES: 1) Ted Cruz 2) A gun 3) Your racist uncle 4) A gun in a cowboy hat 5) Jeb Bush 6) Literally a turd"

"What kind of weapon does a seasoned vet use? A salt rifle."

"A midget walks into a bookstore... ...& asks clerk: 'do you happen to have any books on irony.' The clerk points to a shelf: 'top row.'"

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Chernobyl Barbie ...glows in the dark"

"There's a new drug that prevents statutory rape It's called RU18."

"Sorry people with seeing eye dogs that say 'No petting'. What you can't see won't hurt you."

"So I taught my Grandad how to use skype ... Only problem is, I can never tell if it's just buffering or if he's having a stroke."