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Joke of the Day

"I like to think I'm pretty smart. I just managed to get a 90 on my iq test."

"Did you hear about the Texas hipster whose bicycle was broken? He was fixin' to get his fixie fixed."

"My friend Jerry and I built a house... It was absolutely floorless. I mean we really nailed it this time. Not like the last one that we screwed up. This time we just did a really wood job."

"Batman Daughter ask; BD - What is puberty? B- Do you bleed? BD - ... B - You Will"

"I've reached the point in my life where I'm ready for a life partner. But I'd probably be just as content with a cheeseburger."

"What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? We better get some support before they think we're nuts!"

"Where does a Martian go for a drink? A Mars Bar"

"I was changing some fuses at Buzzfeed... ... Number 14 shocked me."

"So, a friend of mine claims to be really body-positive, but... ...I saw him comment on a picture of a fat woman in Wal-Mart comparing her to a pachyderm. I told him to stop being so hippo-critical."

"Did you hear about the magic tractor? It drove down the road and turned into a field!"