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Joke of the Day

"-What's your zodiac sign? -Tyrannosaurus. -But that's not even a real sign. -None of the zodiac signs are real."

"I was worried because I heard a beep and didn't know if it was my cell, iPod, Wii, Skype, Facebook, email, Twitter or TV. Thank God it was just the fire alarm."

"What do you call an agreement between forests? A treety"

"Did you hear about the carnival fires? They were intense."

"One time I fell asleep on a pile of change. When I woke up, my face looked like Mount Rushmore. (This isn't so much a joke as just something that happened.)"

"Grandpa...why is there a suppository in your ear? Oh... THAT's where my hearing aid went!"

"What is the difference between a snowman and a snow woman ? Snowballs."

"How many suh dudes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, it's already lit hahaha asuhhhh dude"

"I ALSO wrote a poem! ''I do drugs, you do drugs, we do drugs, they do drugs'' Now, I know it's not the best, but it's pretty dope."

"Guess what I got asked at the hairdresser's earlier. Fucking everything."