27376

Joke of the Day

"When preparing blood sausage, never cook it in the same pan as crip sausage."

"Despite having no nominations this year, I'm certain that black folks will clean up at The Oscars."

"I vacuumed up a huge spiderweb & then heard a thump in the workout room. The spiders are lifting weights before they attack me aren't they?"

"interviewer: why do you want this job me: i've just always been very passionate about not starving to death"

"I no longer see my wife and kids because of gambling. I won a shitload of money and moved to Spain."

"Why was the tomato red? It saw the salad dressing."

"I asked my gf to get the paper for me... ...She said ""Don't be silly, borrow my iPad"". That spider never knew what hit it."

"So me and my ex never worked out I was a cancer she was a cunt.. Anything but a Virgo and her Pisces smelt like a Taurus"

"How do you make a clown cry? Kill his entire family."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the newspaper! ... Didn't get it? Of course not. ..the chicken got it!"