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Joke of the Day

"Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are on an airplane. The airplane crashes. Who survives? America."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? He cannot comprehend the concept of a road. He is just looking for food."

"They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take shit from anybody."

"If I were a superhero, I'd be Pizza Man. My one-liners would be cheesy, and I'd save you in 30 min or less, or your next criminal is free."

"What does a ghost get when he is horny? A booner"

"I like my women how I like my coffee Cheap, easily picked up And found later in a disposable plastic container."

"Love you in different language English..... I Love You Spanish..... Te Amo French...... Je T'aime German...... Ich Liebe Dich Redneck..... Nice Tits"

"If you pronounce the word vase like ""voz"" I'm gonna want to punch you in the foz"

"*works out for six weeks *loses 2 lbs *eats a carrot *gains it back"

"I made this girl fall in love with me textually. She said she wanted to # me @ her place."