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Joke of the Day
"Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms? Because he isn't real."
Next Joke
"Harry Potter: A Shortened Version Voldemort: I must kill Harry Potter. Everyone else: Lol, no."
"I'm pretty sure that spiders have figured out that I'm terrified of them, and have created a game to see who can make me flip out the most."
"I just saw someone eat 12 dozen custard donuts It looked like a gross meal"
"Don't let people push you around. Unless it's in a wagon, because that shit is fun!"
"Become a PhD After many years of studying at a university, I've finally become a PhD... or Pizza Hut Deliveryman as people call it."
"In answer to the question ""would you have sex with bill Clinton"" 87 percent of Americans responded No. Not again"
"What did the Frenchman yell on the roller coaster? Yes!"
"Optimus Prime: ""I transform from a robot into a truck. You?"" Amazon Prime: ""I transform money into regrettable internet purchases at 2 AM."""
"ME: i thought i saw a new color today WIFE: wait- is this..are you.. M: but it- W: oh no M: was just- W: dont M: a pigment of my imagination"