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Joke of the Day

"Optimus Prime: ""I transform from a robot into a truck. You?"" Amazon Prime: ""I transform money into regrettable internet purchases at 2 AM."""

"A golden joke... Did you hear about the man who robbed the bank? He went up to the cashier and demanded all the gold. When the thief ran away, the cashier yelled, ""A u!"""

"The Chicago Cubs"

"I listened to Winter by Vivaldi the other day... Ugh, that piece is soooo *last season*"

"What happened when the carrot died? There was a huge turnip at the funeral."

"I wish I gave Darth Vader different last words. Before he died, I wanted him to mutter, ""I should have stuck to pod racing."""

"Why does Meek Mill avoid shopping on Black Friday? Because the stores advertise ""Back to Back"" savings."

"Kim Kardashian's starts a new political party, and names it Popular Back"

"Do Russians only write in lower case letters? I mean, they hate Capitalism."

"Overall productive day.. *Ordered Batman boxer briefs & matching knee socks *Called my mom *Bought an Xbox game, & a goat, on Craigslist"