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Joke of the Day
"What did the Frenchman yell on the roller coaster? Yes!"
Next Joke
"What food can tell you if a girl is pregnant? Chickpea"
"I just gave my kid ice cream because she wouldn't stop crying. Sorry, whoever she winds up marrying."
"How do you break up with a farmer long-distance? A John Deere letter."
"Her: You're up to a pack a day nowyou have to cut back. Me: [petting the alpha male of the wolf pack I just adopted] I can quit anytime."
"In a parallel universe somewhere, all the Pumpkin Spice Lattes are getting really excited for White Girl season at Starbucks."
"What do you get when you cross a rock climber with a tsetse fly? Nothing. You can't cross a scaler and a vector."
"If you think it's ""uncool"" to love America, why don't you go see how ""cool"" it is to live in a country that doesn't have toilets or pizza."
"""My birthday's coming"" Do you know what I need?"" ""Yeah but how do you wrap a life?"""
"I'm Mexican and Filipino. No matter how you look at me, I'm good at cleaning."