27255

Joke of the Day

"When I grow up, I want to spend 1/3 of my life sleeping, 1/3 staring at a computer in a tiny cubicle and 1/3 hating myself. (realistic kid)"

"My toddler is legit angry at me because I wouldn't let her jump out a second story window today. This is why you need birth control ladies."

"In this sentence, their are exactly three errorrs."

"Second best gaming joke ever... Buy the DLC to find out..."

"A horse walks into a bar. The bartender confuses jokes with idioms, and offers the horse water but can't make it drink."

"A man was murdered in a Black Pudding factory... They drowned him in cold blood."

"Hey Terminator, who are you dressing up as for the musical fancy dress? I'll be Bach"

"I see London, I see France! (I'm looking at Google maps)"

"Potter household Voldemort: knock knock James: who's there? Voldemort: you know James: you know who? Voldemort: correct James: James: Fuck"

"Guys, if you buy ANY woman clothing, & you don't get her a size S with a gift receipt, you're an asshole."