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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend calls me Ronda Rousey Because I only last 45 seconds in the ring."

"I bought a new pair of shoes the other day I don't know what they laced them with, but I've been tripping all day."

"It's great how you have legs that can take you away from a conversation when you don't feel like listening to people anymore"

"Babe, your cuter than a puppy at an animal shelter, Cuz i want to take you home!"

"It's kinda like i'm a shopaholic but with alcohol instead of clothes."

"Someday when I am a parent, I will not vaccinate my kids... I'll get a doctor to do it instead."

"Need jokes with the same punchline as this. Help! What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick."

"Thanks for explaining the word many to me. It means a lot."

"Why was the math book sad? It had a lot of problems"

"Guess what I got asked at the hairdresser's earlier. Fucking everything."