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Joke of the Day
"What's the last thing that goes through a bugs mind when he hits a windshield? His ass."
Next Joke
"I bought some Bose stocks today. It was a sound investment."
"Can ""born this way"" apply to laziness?"
"What is the difference between Martin Luther King Day and St. Patrick's Day? St. Patrick's day everybody wants to be Irish."
"My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic... But if I'm gonna have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord."
"What do you call it when you torture corn to death? Macabre!"
"If you get an Otterbox you *should* drop your phone Just in case"
"I got arrested one night while camping... The policeman said I was loitering within tent."
"Relationships are harder now because conversations become texting, arguments become phone calls, and feelings become status updates"
"My husband suggested I tone down the Botox and just age gracefully. And I laughed and laughed. But didn't scowl. Cuz Botox."