2719

Joke of the Day

"So I was feeling really depressed due to the attack in Paris... I phoned the Islamic Samaritans. When I said I was feeling suicidal they got all excited and asked if I knew how to fly a plane."

"Why are Soviets so bad with the ladies? They're always Russian the fuckin' and Stalin the lovin' hehehe"

"What do you call a female dog with a pH over 7? A basic bitch."

"What's the best way to break up with your girlfriend? On the front page of reddit."

"Anagram It told me to nag a ram."

"I asked my waitress if she thought me eating alone was embarrassing and she said, ""I work at Cheesecake Factory"""

"What's the difference between Jesus and a hooker? Jesus wants to get fucked for free."

"Apparently organ donation has to be *your own* organ and this police officer has a lot of questions."

"Today I saw Flash walking by, on the street. He must really be a shitty flash."

"What's a martian's favorite wine? Chardonayy."