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Joke of the Day

"I'm not sure if I heard a bootleg firecracker... or a pound of dynamite."

"""If I write something completely creepy under a girl's Facebook photo, maybe it WON'T be creepy if I end it with 'lol.'"" -guy logic"

"it's very distracting hearing your girlfriend being mauled by a tiger as you try to read ""big cat owners monthly""."

"what would you call superman if he was deaf and mexican? No hero"

"How do you know you're at a gay picnic? The hotdogs taste like shit."

"Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he's a fungi."

"Who is that walking up my driveway?! Anxiety in 3...2...1... [knock, knock] *sigh* ""WAIT A SECOND!"" *mumbles* ""I need to find pants."""

"Hillary and Huma Hillary Clinton likes Huma Abedin who is married to Anthony Weiner which would make her Huma Weiner. That means that Hillary likes a Weiner which means that she is not gay."

"What do you call a black priest? ...holy shit im not racists or anything"

"Tip for drowning your enemies: Paint pictures of people yawning on the bottom of their swimming pool."