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Joke of the Day
"What do Swedish people put in their coffee? Artifical Swedeners"
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"Is your name Jingle Bells, cause you look like you go all the way"
"What does Batman use to wash his hair? Conditioner Gordon."
"What do you call a complaining adult? A groan up!"
"What do you get if King Kong falls down a mine shaft? A flat miner."
"Redditors don't like this [Deleted]"
"Non-tweeting friend: ""So it's like FB?"" Me: ""Except everyone's mean & sarcastic & brutally honest."" ""Sounds awf..."" ""Awesome. I know."""
"What did the thirsty Spanish pirate say? I need some arrrrrrrrrrrgua!"
"""Your resume says weaknesses: hide & seek"" Yeah ""Can you demonstrate?"" Sure, count to 10 *Counts to 10 & opens eyes* *I'm literally on fire*"
"There are a lot of good times... But 6:30 is hands down the best time."