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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about Taco Bell's new sauce? It's picked-out daily south of the border."

"France and Italy go to war. Who wins? Neither. France surrenders and Italy switches sides"

"Insulting me gets you nowhere. Plus, it makes you look fat."

"I had a window smash and impale me in the buttocks today... It was a pane in the ass."

"*Geography Bee* Judge: ""Tell me about Yemen."" Me: ""Chandler said he was moving there when he couldn't breakup with Janice on Friends."""

"My private health insurance really needs to start covering retail therapy."

"I like to go to death metal shows and throw throat lozenges on the stage, it shows I care."

"I'm not stalking you. I'm trying to help you find that sock that you dropped behind the door before you left for work Wednesday at 7:04."

"Tests are like jokes... You just gotta get through them, and sometimes you find out they're not that bad! And other times you have cancer."

"I want someone to look at me the way I look at the waiter when he brings my meal."