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Joke of the Day

"[sees someone use multiple contradictory excuses to compel faith-based behavior] perhaps i can reason you out of this using history and laws"

"You say lasagna. I say spaghetti cake. Because my 3 year old won't eat lasagna."

"Democrats do much of their shopping at Target and Wal-Mart. So do Republicans but they don't admit it."

"A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game."

"What is a statistician's favorite social media site? Histogram"

"If you lead a horse to pretzels and then to water, he will definitely drink."

"It appears we have reached that day once again where all the Irish people get drunk and start fights tonight and skip work tomorrow. Monday."

"how would you describe US with first four alphabets? ABCD (A B Cd.....) as in obesity.... Will show myself to hell now."

"How did LaKeisha's Mom finally stop her from bouncing on the trampoline in the rec room? She put a piece of velcro on the ceiling."

"Hey, parents. Stop raising children and start raising adults."