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Joke of the Day

"Why did Yewtree arrest the husband-to-be at the celebrity wedding of the year? They wanted to make sure he'd never been a groom."

"Why are women's feet smaller than men's? So they can stand closer to the sink."

"A handsome man walks into a bar and an ugly woman approaches him... all our servers are busy right now please try again in a minute (error code: 503)"

"Why did the kittens turn atheist? Coz their eyes opened."

"If you ever feel like you can't do something, just remember... Suicide Squad is an Oscar nominated film."

"I tried eharmony. They kept matching me up with women who look like me in a wig. I'd be too intimidated to date someone that attractive."

"[In Court] Does the Defense have any last words? *defense rises* DE-FENSE *Judge holds up picket fence* DE-FENSE *Jury starts The Wave*"

"Did you hear about the single-engine plane that crashed into a Polish cemetary? So far, 400 bodies have been recovered."

"TIL: A second is called a second because it's not first."

"I've just bought a transparent megaphone. Now everyone can hear me loud and clear."