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Joke of the Day

"Why did Yewtree arrest the husband-to-be at the celebrity wedding of the year? They wanted to make sure he'd never been a groom."

"Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs? Right Where You Left Him."

"Will only make sense to geezers... Q: What do Hot Lips Hoolihan and Richard Pryor have in common? A: They both have had major burns on their face."

"I support traditional marriage between a man and one of his own ribs."

"Why, yes, I am dressed for the weather. I am wearing a house."

"Animals can sense disasters before they happen. That's why the neighbors dog barks whenever I make a move on a girl."

"Q. What did the dog say when he sat on sand paper? A. ""Rough rough""."

"What is the difference between michael jackson and pimples? Pimples wait until you're thirteen before they come all over your face."

"Solving constipation How do you solve constipation? Rape."

"If I ever go missing,,, I hope they put my photo on bottles of OCD medication, cuz you know those people won't stop looking."