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Joke of the Day

"""I need a lady in a sheet who is not permitted out in the streets."" -Taliban man looking for love"

"The only thing that would make my morning more productive is actually doing something."

"No sane person argues with their GPS as much as I do."

"What's the difference between a cow and 9/11? In the US you can't milk a cow for 14 years."

"[reading book report] ME: Beyowulf is the story of a guy that turns into an wolf when he hears Beyonce TEACHER: Wrong. ME: Well, I tried."

"Who's bigger- Mister Bigger or Mister Bigger's baby? Well, Mister Bigger's baby's a just little bigger."

"What's the most scandalous of the wonders of the ancient world? The Colossus of Scrotes."

"*picks up bug, puts it outside* There ya go. *later, bug smashes thru door carrying gun* You should have killed me when you had the chance"

"What's a bulimiac's favourite porno? Deep throat"

"Fellas, when waiting in line for the new TSA scanners, give yourself some personal ""fluffing"" beforehand. Don't get caught with shrinkage."