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Joke of the Day

"*waits until a bird falls asleep, quietly creeps beside it's nest* HELLO HELLO HELLO HELLO HELLO ARE YOU AWAKE!?!! HOW DO YOU LIKE THIS!?!"

Next Joke
 
"You know what isn't a joke? Hitlers gas bill."
"Did you hear about the horny squirrel? he was fucking nuts"
"Who's the biggest celebrity in the Vegetable world? Ocra Winfrey"
"Go into the confessional today and see how long it takes the priest to realize you're describing Batman's life."
"It was recently discovered that Pluto is not actually a dog."
"Wife wants to hang pictures of our kids in the bathroom. Like they don't already spend enough time in there with us."
"Everyone done keeping calm yet?"
"I have a joke about US history but..... I'm going to rewrite it."
"Which duck will destroy the establishment? None, ducks are not allowed in politics."