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Joke of the Day
"What is white on top and black on the bottom? Society"
Next Joke
"Whom hath released the hounds? Whom? Whom? Whom? Whom?"
"Ice Ice Baby, Ice Ice Baby All right stop, Collaborate and listen This frozen baby needs to see a physician"
"What is the opposite of an iPad Mini? A Maxi Pad"
"So they're coming out with a new $10 bill featuring a woman. But it's only worth $7.70."
"Don't hand me the phone Don't hand me the phone Don't hand me th-HIIIIII GRANDMA I'M GOOOOOD..."
"LIFE HACK tell the hotel you forgot your toothbrush. They don't even check, they just give you a brand new one!!! It's so sweet"
"[I open my lunchbox to find flask of whisky] But that means.... [Cut to my 4 y/o opening her lunchbox to find a flask of whisky]"
"Surely I'm not the only who chews extra hard to make sure the Teddy Grahams are good and dead. Surely."
"Kissing a sleeping woman in an animated Disney movie, romantic.....but do it on a bus and the judge doesn't agree."