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Joke of the Day

"Surely I'm not the only who chews extra hard to make sure the Teddy Grahams are good and dead. Surely."

"Which country has the most millionaires? Zimbabwe."

"I've got to go guys. Yesterday I bought a new shampoo that's supposed to change my life."

"What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?.....wiped his ass"

"Question: What do elephants use for tampoons? Answer: Sheep."

"You can call me a narcissist... Just make sure you say my name."

"If your ex is dropping subtle hints drop bigger hints. Like a toaster in a bathtub."

"Spent all day at Legoland with my son during Star Wars weekend. Gushed like a fangirl when I met Darth Vader. He's my Justin Bieber"

"What do you call an old Mexican woman? A bean bag."

"All I'm saying is that Miley Cyrus was on the Disney Channel and had her clothes on when Bush was president. Thanks, Obama."