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Joke of the Day

"So there I was at my favorite seafood restaurant having dinner, and I told David, my favorite waiter, that TONIGHT I wanted my fish exactly how I like my wife... ...""Battered it is, sir."""

"Ladies, if you're over 50, you may wanna rethink the cowboy hat. It's terrifying."

"A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads... Sandwich: $5.00 Handjob: $10.00 Repost a joke the next day: 1500 up votes Now, please, wash your hands and make me a sandwich."

"I bet if I was a hot chick and I left a status that said ""I'm brushing my hair"". It would get about 50 likes."

"Why do men snore when they sleep on their back? Because their balls cover their assholes and they vapor lock."

"I see you've got your bill for using the Internet Yes and my dad's really going to get the hump!"

"I went to the zoo this past weekend. The only animal they had was a dog... it was a shih tzu."

"Say ""beer can"" out loud in a British accent. It sounds like you're saying ""bacon"" in a Jamaican accent!"

"Where do famous snakes go? Down in hisssstory!"

"I guess it's time to lose some weight. I cut myself shaving and gravy came out..."