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Joke of the Day

"So there I was at my favorite seafood restaurant having dinner, and I told David, my favorite waiter, that TONIGHT I wanted my fish exactly how I like my wife... ...""Battered it is, sir."""

"How do you stop a small dog from humping your leg? You pick it up and suck its dick!"

"[nsfw] This is the worst joke I have heard.... What's the difference between an apple and a dead baby? You don't cum on an apple before you eat it..."

"FYI Valentines Day is only 5 days away... It's not too late to break up."

"What did the Belgian Nazis call themselves? The Waffle S.S."

"How does Moses make tea He brews it.."

"What's Whitney Houston's favourite type of coordination? HAND EYYYYYYYYYEEE"

"What's the difference between a book and a Mexican? Books have papers...."

"What did the wind turbine say to Justin Beiber? Justin, I'm a big fan. wheyyyyyyyyyyyy"

"The church across the street opened a new Jesus-themed ferris wheel. Their accountant told me they needed it to turn a prophet."