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Joke of the Day

"Why do men snore when they sleep on their back? Because their balls cover their assholes and they vapor lock."

"Local mom finds cure to weight loss, Scientist are dumbfounded... at how gullible people on the internet are."

"[nail salon] Excuse me, do you do filing here? ""Yes of course we do!"" Great! I need a good refund *hands over tax forms*"

"*takes a picture of food for Instagram* Food: delete it"

"There's an old Irish saying: ""I'm Irish."""

"Why did the ska guitarist take twice as long to fap? He only knows up strokes"

"I used to have a steering wheel in my pants But it was driving me nuts"

"Did you hear about the woman who had a face transplant... They had to use human foreskin for her eyelids. She's going to be a little cock'eyed for the rest of her life."

"Listening to a global economy futurist. Pretty sure in 20 years Chinese parents will say ""Clean your plate, people in the US are starving."""

"My girlfriend said she was going to leave me because of my obsession with poker. I think she's bluffing."