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Joke of the Day

"Why do men snore when they sleep on their back? Because their balls cover their assholes and they vapor lock."

"What do you call a man with a penis in the middle of his face? Fuck nose."

"Bernie Sanders is a true socialist He's taking the delegates he's earned and giving them to somebody who is struggling to earn their own."

"Life is like a penis.. Women make it harder.."

"Do you know that opening windows make the wifi slower. It's because the wifi signal goes out the window."

"Me: Whatcha doin? 12yo: Catching up on Walking Dead. Me: Did Hershel die yet? 12yo: WHAT?! Me: Guess not."

"Why do feminists dislike maths? There's an XY axis but no XX axis."

"What did Stalin say to all the thousands of people he killed? Crimea river"

"Why should you wrap your hamster in duct tape? So it won't explode when you fuck it."

"I got offered a job at McCormick... ...but it was just seasonal work."