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Joke of the Day

"Why did the trout leave the cult? They were too sacrifishal"

"Wife: every time we argue, you think you're right. Me: yes, because if I thought you were right, I wouldn't be arguing..."

"My friend said he was a harp.. But he was obviously a lyre."

"My gay friend told me never to invest in real estate. He's super homophobic."

"I don't go to the circus. Not because I'm scared of clowns, but because I'm scared of people who go to the circus."

"Did you hear about the new protagonist in Mass effect 4? It's Commander Lamb. (From a friend of mine... Told it to me while we were in a party chat)"

"4 stages of a relationship: 1) Hand in hand 2) That in hand 3) Hand in that 4) That in that"

"A feminist and a fascist walks into a bar She orders a glass of wine"

"This specimen cup tastes like Coors Light."

"What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They are both meat substitutes."